A man said to him:
"Talk to my brothers,
that they will divide my father’s property with me."
"Man, who has made me a divider?"
He turned to his disciples & asked:
“Really, am I a divider?"
When I was a youth, there was a kid three years my senior who lived up the street named Jeff Colandra. His parents always listened to “The Doors”. I recall his older sister later moved to Oregon, and his younger sister had paisleys all over her car. I suppose we could say they were some straight up hippies. I had heard that some became Princeton yuppies later; life is strange. This one however, Jeffery, helped me to shift one of my mental gears one day. I couldn’t tell you what the hell we talked about. It just wasn’t the stuff other people talked about, and I left his presence astounded feeling like, “Hey, there are people up on things and who’ve been thinking about shit for quite some time that others don’t talk or think about at all.” Should you encounter one of these people and hear them speak, all you know is, you get a good feeling. They are confident, while still curious, but trustworthy, and reporting their truth.
On the quote above from the Gospel of Thomas, I tend to think of it as, “Jesus Christ people, who the hell made me so divisive? Seriously folks, I‘m the unification, can we get anything correct around here?” Okay, that may be a little classless for your Jesus but you know or, do you know what the word “prophet” actually means? It doesn’t mean “psychic” or “fortune teller”. It means spokesman. I have always worked in non-profit. (You see how things work better when they are not written down?) As the Wavy Gravy bit used to go, i speak for no one like he would say I vote for no one. Because no one can save us. No one can fix our problems. No one for president! Damn it, no one cares.
Most of life’s deep revelations occur to us as children from out of no-where. Like the first time you contemplated infinity, or forever. As adults we get busy, and hardly ever do we organize, and/or grow into our revelations. If you hadn’t guessed by now, the Mesonoxia kicks in a lot sooner if you don’t fight it. If you must categorize and organize everything into easily digestible nuggets, absorbing each ingredient one at a time, you may actually do yourself a disservice in this chapter. I will do that for you later. For now, just surrender to the feeling. Let it do its thing and decide later, when you come to, as to whether what you saw on the midnight train was the genuine article or something less. Right now, just roll with it. Scrutinize and figure it all out later. I often wonder what would have happened if I had done just that the day my bedroom door turned into rows of numbers.
I was sitting on my bed staring at the wooden door and just thinking, but about what I can not remember. I don’t recall being tired. This was before I had ever taken any drugs.
As a side note, I’ve taken plenty of drugs in my life, though not for several years. After taking LSD a few dozen times, as well as peyote, mescaline, PCP, and psilocybin, I didn’t really believe that people saw “visuals” as they were called. I had seen some paisley like squiggles of color a few times but that was about it. UNTIL: One day my friends brought me some mushrooms that were supposed to be really powerful. It was recommended that two people split an eighth of an ounce, and if new to psychotropic drugs, maybe three people to an eighth ounce. Naturally I immediately scarfed down a quarter. No squigglies that day.
When I tell you full fledged cartoon characters were running around the room, fireworks blasting through the sky, frickin' Roger Rabbit sailing through the wall on a steam boat, spooks grabbing at my shoulders, the craziest shit ever. The episode I will describe below however, was way before I had ever taken a drug of any kind.
I was middle school aged and perhaps my brain was developing- I don’t know, but I saw something that freaked me out. At about this same age I used to do this thing with my perception where everything I looked at appeared minuscule and much further away than it was. It would come from out of nowhere while watching television. All of a sudden everything would appear tiny, like I was miles from the TV set. though I can remember perceiving my reality in this way, I cannot do it today, and it is very difficult to describe.
On this day however I was simply looking at the door, when something like a hallucination appeared and I started seeing rows and rows of numbers as if on a graph paper inside the wood of the door. The numbers were changing incessantly and lighting fast so that I could not make them out. I can’t even say with certainty that they were numbers but only that this was my perception at the time. It just felt intuitively like they were digits or maybe that was the only reference I had to assign or label them.
Now as it was happening it scared the ever loving heck out of me and a deep wave of paranoia suddenly accompanied my strange vision. I say vision because I was looking at it. I wasn’t trying to do anything. I hadn’t yet ever meditated formally, had no knowledge of mysticism and no yearning for any esoteric knowledge, and not that I am explicitly calling this any of that. I didn’t and still don’t know what to call it. At that time in my life my interests rested in Basketball and WWF wrestling like many adolescents I knew.
I recall that I jumped out of bed opened the door quickly as if something was behind it. I next stomped down the hall vigorously trying to do who only knows what, but perhaps shake myself out of it or scare away whatever it was. I freaked out a bit. After a moment or so the feeling went away and I later forgot about it.
I told my mother about it the next morning and she said she had heard me making noise and stomping but she was tired and just went back to bed, so I know I didn’t dream it. Some say it could be that I had accidentally triggered the pineal gland and that the speed of the visualization is similar to a DMT hallucination. I’m not sure whether what follows below occurred before or after this incident but it was around this same time (age 12-13) something struck me while in math class.
I had no way of knowing it was a legendary math riddle when it hit me. Apparently, my 8th grade pre-algebra teacher didn’t know either. She treated it as a nuisance. She was stumped and many in class knew it. What I had thought of, was and is in fact known in philosophy and mathematics as “Zeno’s Paradox”.
Around 450 B.C.Zeno of Lea came up with a bunch of paradoxical problems to support Parmenides assertion that all things are unified and separation is but an illusion. I didn’t know of this yet at 12 years old. I thought I had simply imagined it on my own, which I did, but just 2500 years too late to be considered special for it. Perhaps if I had been born sooner, the world would remember me forever. You’ll have to decide for yourself as to whether I am offering you here is something “new”, as well as if you find it relevant to your life, or even care.
I sat looking at the pie-chart on the marker board and while it had nothing to do with the lecture I couldn’t help but ask my teacher and said:
“If you keep adding a piece of pie to an empty pie tray, half as big as the one you added right before it, will the pie tray ever get full?” Think about that a moment if it’s the first time you have heard it.
Think about it some more if the last time you heard or thought about it was several years ago. Half a pie. Quarter pie, eighth,16th, 1/32, etc. 64, 128, 256, 512. Like Megabytes, but inverted. You can add infinitely and never fill the tray.
Little did I know at that time just how important this concept would become to me 15- 20 years later. This riddle holds the key to everything in existence. People will tell you that the Eye of Horus pictured above is many things. It was used as symbol of fractional volume. It is used as a symbol for the third eye or pineal gland. It is used in Hollywood and all over YouTube today as a symbol for the conspiratorial oligarch Bildeberg CFR Club of Rome Illuminati. But as each fraction is half as big as the one before, I think the real deal is someone figured out long ago as I did at thirteen that infinite divisibility is the key to illumination, and all religion, secret societies and science both flow from it and can't touch it. Math is the universal language. Standing alone however, it seems little more than just a perplexing musing, a dichotomy, or a head-scratcher. But it is deep. It is reverse Fibonacci. It is the beginning and the end. Alpha Omega. Other versions of it go something like this:
If you keep taking steps towards a wall,
but each step is smaller than the one preceding it,
with infinite steps will you ever reach the finish line?
The answer of course is no. How could you? Fractions can be split infinitely. It would seem, that as long as you keep moving forward you would eventually have to hit the wall, but you wouldn’t, and couldn’t, as the necessary distance can always be cut in half. Any distance, mass, or volume can be divided up infinitely. There is nothing so small as to not be able to distinguish the front from the back, top from bottom, inside from outside, left from right. If it exists, it has a left side and a right side. And in between those two…?
Look it up and you’ll find folks claiming that Zeno’s paradoxes have been refuted, or solved, and long, long ago. That was old math. These are old problems for which calculus has done away with, or so they will tell you.
Some of the fun and a hidden theme of Alice in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll involve the author poking fun at the “New Math” of his time. Dodgson (Carroll) was after all, a mathematician by trade. Other elements of the story repeatedly point out the absurdity of defining things in relation to what they are not. Ultimately, Carroll was jostling with our limited perspectives and our relative logic.
When“disproving” Zeno’s paradox, mathematicians like the ones Carroll was laughing at will talk about “Potential Infinities vs. Real Infinities”. Once again, everyone (except Carroll) has missed the point. There is no disproving Zeno’s paradox. Clearly. I don’t care what they may say. Disproving Zeno’s paradox is akin to a scientist having a formula to prove a joke is not funny once everyone had already laughed at it. You either got the joke, or you didn’t. The scientist’s humor in this regard is too sophisticated to laugh at a joke everyone thought funny. He was a tight ass. He had rules about what was funny and what wasn’t. But in Zeno’s land of wonders, his rules didn’t apply. Not only did everyone else just think he was an asshole, but as it turns out, his math was off as well.
I’m referring to one of Zeno’s many paradoxes actually, as there are several. Some are admittedly tighter than others, but the intention there, and here, is to open your mind up to a fundamental reality, a truism of a different sort. My teacher either wasn’t in the mood to think about it or maybe just didn’t understand, but I do recall that after a moment of reflection her answer was, “Eventually you wouldn’t be able to cut the pie slice in half anymore, it would just be crumbs.”
Really? You mean you it is not possible to cut a crumb in half? This brings us to the heart of the lesson. Alpha & Omega. Beginning and End. You see, the sea of infinity works both ways. By the same token that you can multiply and add to infinity (ad absurdum as I often use the term albeit a bit unconventionally), so must you be able to divide. But that which is indivisible is merely a choice, recognition or a discovery.
There is a mental state beyond analytic thought that exists in a realm of vast potentiality. It is pure imagination expanding outward and inward through the Fibonacci sequence. When you taste this elixir you come to understand how the way in which science understands our world is built upon a foundation of sand. Those who taste the mesonoxian elixir shall not taste death. In more ways than one.
Let’s go to the Gospels. I use the Stevan Davies Translation of The Gospel of Thomas published by Shambhala for the majority of the passages in this book. I see that translation being the most accurate, if not a tad incomplete. I hesitate to suggest it if for your first reading however, because unlike I am doing in this book, I believe Thomas should first be read without interpretation after each set of passages. Davies, to be fair about it doesn’t always interpret the passage for the reader the way other authors like Tau Malachi does in his book “Gnostic Secrets of the Gospel of Thomas” (which I was not a big fan of). Davies merely provides some useful commentary relating to language or other things that would help add context through a historical framework.
Roughly two thirds of the passages in Thomas most people will already be familiar with from the synoptic gospels. Think of the new ones in any way you want. I view the passages from Thomas as the missing 15-20% that allows the other 80% or so that we were already familiar with to make any sense at all. After reading Thomas I lamented to myself, “Oh, now I see what all the fuss was about.”
Matthew 20:16 or Thomas 4b:
The first shall be last
and the last shall be first
and is a single one.
Is it the first drink that got you drunk or the last? The beginning of anything is also the end of something and vice versa. Stop taking in air for a hot minute, and you start falling apart pretty quickly. Why? Because you are a set of relationships, constantly contingent upon many factors, every moment in an unbroken continuum.
I once asked a man of God, how do you know the soul exists? He said, “I look at a corpse. It has everything I have. A heart. But it doesn’t beat. Lungs, that don’t breathe. A mind, with no thought. Truly, there must be something else that permits me all these faculties”.
I asked a Buddhist, but that would be inaccurate, for he no longer considered himself a Buddhist. He said “If you still call yourself a Buddhist, you aren’t a Buddha yet.” On the subject of how he knew there was no soul however, he said, “Take a trash heap that includes a chair, a bike, an old broken television set, and a deflated kiddie pool. Remove each of the ingredients one by one. When you finish, there is no ‘spirit of the heap”. The heap’s essence, does not linger in some other world. What remains is nothing. Nothing. More Beautiful. Just absence of trash.”
One says the absence of trash is enough. I don’t need to call it anything else. Any word I give to describe the absence of something, doesn’t describe it. It only labels it in relation to whatever it was that is no longer here. But there is no substance that makes up this absence.
The theologian however is actually saying something very similar to the “no longer Buddhist“. If you dissect it, he is saying the essence of that combination of things that is no longer here matters ultimately, and that wherever it went and/or the reason that it is now not here, is also responsible for or behind, how everything that currently is here, is currently arranged. Right?
One person may believe that the soul exists either in this world or another. Another person may not believe it exists at all. That difference however, I believe has evolved out of a distinction that at its core is more semantic than anything else. The spirit of the team lives on. It’s just words, which is what Lewis Carroll is demonstrating in the quote that follows below about how the Cheshire Cat can be certain he is insane:
Alice didn’t think that proved it at all but went on:
“And how do you know that you’re mad?”
“To begin with” said the cat, “a dog’s not mad you grant that?
“I suppose so,” said Alice.”
“Well then” the cat went on,
“you see, a dog growls when it’s angry and wags its tail when it’s pleased.
Now I growl when I’m pleased and wag my tail when I’m angry.
Therefore I’m mad.”
-Alice in Wonderland, Lewis Carroll
The reason the heap, the person, or any material substance is gone is precisely responsible for what it all looks like now. The “soul” is now with God. The dissoluble parts of life’s chain reaction are now part of the larger or current chain reaction. Right? A new world, right? A rebirth, yes?
Don’t worry if you missed it the first time. There will be times when I read that paragraph and will have to read it again. But here is the thing; when at first, the difference between the two seems so clear, just stopping to ask the question, “What’s the difference?”often brings you right up to the brink of Mesonoxia. How might the difference be immaterial, irrelevant, inconsequential, and/or ambivalent? In most Holy circles of any western variety, ambivalence is their worst enemy. It is important to understand exactly why.
Woe to the soul dependent on the flesh.
Woe to the flesh dependent on a soul.
If you look at a wave rolling across the ocean, in motion, there is no spirit pushing the wave. There isn’t even an energy current, underneath the wave, pushing the water, as many would describe it. There’s only a chain reaction of water molecules being forced downward toward the sea floor, and then others coming back up like liquid dominos. If you put the flame of one candle to the wick of another, would we say that the flame has passed? It exists in the first place,but through its existence it carries into another, losing nothing because it finds a new host. The Holy Spirit is much like this; the idea that you can give something, transmit something without losing it on the first end. Things move, and that there is a difference between the 1 & the 2. That difference, or the 2 together, is why there is a trinity. The relationship to each other becomes a third thing. It is like a synergy. It is really just symbolism for the bridge or connection between the two. Spirit is merely what happened.
Where there are three Gods there are Gods
Where there are two or one I am with him
People sometimes have problems with a trinity God. They think that within a trinity it is no longer monotheism. Think of it as water, ice, and mist. Liquid, vapor and solid. Or past, present and future. Subject, object, unification. It is one thing, in 3 forms. Potential, malleable, dissolved. Separate, moving, unified. Create, destroy, preserve.
It’s okay if you don’t get the connection or bridge between the two main concepts of the early part of this chapter just yet (Infinite Divisibility and Non-Inherent Form). Neither I nor Lewis Carroll, Jesus, Buddha, philosophers like Pythagoras, or Zeno of Elea have invented this concept, and which is as old as time itself. It is time itself. By the end of this chapter however, if I do my job correctly, you will understand why there is nothing else to understand but later how it becomes quite applicable to your everyday affairs, be they super important life events or the more trivial, such as a game of spades.
The Buddha taught, “The middle way”. There is a middle way of understanding all phenomena. Most Buddhists haven’t a clue what he actually means. They say things like, “You should neither delight too much in your passions, nor become too much of an ascetic”. I suppose that can be part of it as well, but it is really much more practical, and/or, all encompassing than that. That is just an example of the middle way. This is also the point of the last supper. This is my body. The bread and Jesus are one. Instead of sacrifice, Jesus was changing the game to self-sacrifice, understanding that in a unified world our consumption is inextricably linked to the kind of world being created, destroyed, or preserved, as taught in Hinduism.
There is also very compelling evidence that Jesus, and his flesh are a symbol for the amanita muscaria mushroom. You can read Jan Irvin’s “Astrotheology and Shamanism” or YouTube “The Pharmacratic Inquisiton” to have that proven to you. But why, what do the entheogens give you that make people think they have glimpsed the mind of God? Some trigger this pineal gland and you see all these geometric shapes and colors. You also experience the feeling of dissolving your ego temporarily. Things like family, money, time, property, education, all the things you normally fret about or are consumed by most of the time become not real to you anymore. It is like experiencing death somewhat and so many do not fear death afterward because they experienced everything they thought they were vanish and yet for many all they could think to do is laugh at it all until they cry.
So the last supper has many meanings, immanence, the Holy Grail, the mushroom chalice, and also passing over into the next astrological age in the procession of the equinox. In the New Testament this is Pisces, two fish, passing over into Aquarius the water bearer at Luke 22:10. So everything has a dual meaning and sometimes even more. The author or authors keep layering over it like a canvas.
When you were one you became two.
When you become two what will you do?
Here is a tip, you don’t go back to one directly, you instead need to become the myriad to become one. Eclectic. Myriad. Get it? The Image of Brahma, the androgynous Hindu God with four or more arms and legs, is a statement of remembrance or perhaps just a fantasy, but it represents a sentiment from when it was an asexual being. Like a Virgin Birth, the same thing. Indivisible. Not a combination of other previous things. Hallelujah. Hare Rama. Say it ten times fast.
In Genesis: Woman is made from man’s rib, or side. This is the initial split. Picture eyes in the back of your head and the gaps in your vertebrae being filled with your counterpart’s vertebrae, from the side, pulling apart, woman, from man’s rib. We have all come from androgyny but we haven’t gone very far. Think, why do men have nipples? Not to be crude but a penis is really just a giant clitoris. The only thing that makes them different is the hormones. Those hormones start when a chemical is released from the pineal gland at the 13th week of pregnancy. A fetus, like a flower, a seahorse, a pine cone all expand out in that Fibonacci shape and are made up of what we call fractals, microscopic bits of matter shaped like the Taj Mahal, the Pope’s big silly hat, the ace of spades (the 13th card), the pineal gland, or third eye. The pineal gland (which is responsible for growth, imagination, and dreaming) and the frontal lobe (which is responsible for planning, among other things) are the only parts of our brain not hemispheric, meaning they are located dead center, as is our mouth, anus, and sex organs. In other words, creation, destruction, and preservation.
We take in matter, water, air, on one end and we excrete waste on the other, or we expel life should we merge with our other +/-side, as in sexuality. It is like passing the flame of the candle, where the fire finds a new host. If we preserve our sexual energy and turn the waters of life upwards through our chakras (or glands really), eventually the energy or kundalini, like two serpents winds up our spinal column and 33 vertebrae until it goes back into the pineal gland, which if in good shape and still liquid releases DMT where basically we trip balls. People say we enter a spirit realm but again, these are just words. Basically we re-enter the place of pure imagination from which all life initially began. We may again ask, “What is the difference?” This is what is meant by Moses parting the Red Sea, Joshua at the Jordan River,et cetera.
We can assign words to the hormones, but it is just this way and that way, positive negative, yin yang, or two fish, Jesus is Pisces. His ministry is one that's says, "We are all built on the same platform. All of our composite parts still have a male and female, or yin and yang side. We label things as male and female or positive and negative, but it is really just this way or that way. In genetics, DNA, the coiled serpents, A-T,C-G. All life being made up of Adenine and Guanine, Thymine and Cytosine. Labeling them with these words makes it sound scientific, like we know what they are. But these are just our words. Protons and electrons, quark and anti-quark, a meson. Meson-oxia =the middle, moving. It is really just a micro to macro relationship of male and female with a left and right side, moving about and part of the whole. When you begin to really see these gears shifting for yourself, and internalize it not just as an intellectual abstraction, but repetitively in all moving phenomena, you will observe the degrees to which they are either close to a balanced point or the degree to which it is out of whack. You will see that it holds true both in nature and the human fabricated world and then you are truly on your way to a life with a new richness and fullness. You become a different type of problems solver. You become a meson-operative facilitating balance and harmony.
Some seed fell upon good soil
and grew and produced good grain.
It was 60 units per measure
and 120 units per measure.
We have all heard about the grain, but why 60 and 120 units per measure? Time, attention. Investment. 24 prophets. 24 hours. 12 disciples. 12/24. Noon. Midnight. 60 seconds. One minute. 12 tribes of Israel. 12 months. Half a day. 30 days in a month, 30 pieces of silver, 30 degrees in the zodiac. 30 degrees the procession of equinoxes moving every 2160 years. Half a minute. A two and a one and a sixty. Two 60’s is 120. 2160 divided by 12 is 180, or 3 60’s. Like doing a 360 or a 180, equal and opposite.
Why is it February where we add the extra day during leap year? Because it is the 60th day of the year. It’s all just a bunch of sixes and twelves and ones and twos and thirties and sixties and one eighties and three sixties and three 60’s is 180 and triple sevens are twenty ones and triple six is a 180 and twos and ones and years and days and degrees and stories about “revolutions“.
It is trying to tell you the grain is your attention. It is a reference to time. Time is “timed around”, tracked and named after the story. As a unification of everything, it acts as an incessant reminder about your attention and how it relates to everything you see. A second can last any duration we wanted it to. The time it takes the earth to spin on its axis or orbit the sun, can be any number of hours we wish. What we call an hour can be any duration of time we choose it to last. It was supposed to be poetic, 12 hours, 12 months, 12 constellations, the two and the one. 60 seconds in the minute, 60 minutes in the hour.
Trust me if it could have been worked out to make the earth revolve around the sun in 360 days even, or with one 12 hour day they probably would have. Actually the Russians did invent a Calendar with 72 five day weeks for a total of 360 days even. It bombed because they still screwed you on how many of them you received off from work. It is sometimes hard to see just how entrenched we are in things that we take as givens, like that there are really four seasons instead of two, eight, or just one. We take as a given our cycles of days worked versus vacation, and our stages of life. I want to shatter all of it with Mesonoxia as a means of appreciating the fullness of what our world is intended to be or could be.
Currently, they have it worked out where the sun reaches its highest point in the sky on Easter and its lowest on 12/21 and midnight, where it dies for 3 days before it begins to ascend again on the 25th (or 12/24 and midnight). I think they did a pretty phenomenal job with the story. The Mithra of Persia, Horace from Egypt story has much of this in it as well. This was the unification of the Jewish Old Testament God with Egyptian mythology.
After the 2012 meme, they’ll tell us the end of the world is coming 2112, 2160 for Aquarius maybe, but the calendar is just another finger pointing at a moon, it has no inherent worth in itself. The moving of the planets doesn’t affect global consciousness (sorry Alice Bailey fans). But man is changing and developing all the time. What we all were, or what it all was, can at times know things that what it all currently is, does not. Evolution isn’t always a given certainty to work out for the best given humanity’s more recent ability to intervene in it(homo-evoltus). That is why “the fall” in Genesis started a religion with that story. The idea of the story is that our attempt to play God with control of the environment might not be the best idea. It was humble. God knows better than you do. The personification of God being just a literary technique. But the story happens to be very true if you understand the true point of the story.
According to Wikipedia (I know I know, I should have found a different source, but it was very succinct and accurate, and I am lazy);
“In the Gregorian calendar,the current standard calendar in most of the world, most years that are divisible by 4 are leap years.In a leap year, the month of February has 29 days instead of 28. This compensates for the fact that a solar year is about 6 hours longer than 365 days, by adding an extra day (a leap day) to the calendar every four years. However, the duration of a solar year is approximately 365.2422 days, slightly less than 365.25 days. The old rule of adding a leap day every fourth year overcompensates. The Gregorian calendar therefore adjusts the leap year rule by omitting three leap days every 400 years, turning three years that would be leap years in the older Julian calendar in to common years. This leads to an average calendar year of 365.2425 days,which is very close to the length of the solar year:(400 years × 365 common days) + (100 - 3) leap days = 146097 days in 400 Gregorian years. 146097 days÷ 400 years = 365.2425 days per Gregorian year. Each 400-year period has four century years (years divisible by 100),but only one of those is divisible by 400. The century years not divisible by 400 are identified by the Gregorian calendar as the three years in which the usual leap day is omitted. For example,1600 and 2000 were leap years, but 1700, 1800 and 1900 were not. Future century years 2100, 2200, 2300, 2500, 2600, 2700, 2900, and 3000 will not be leap years, but 2400 and 2800 will be. By this rule, the average number of days per year is 365 + 1/4 - 1/100 +1/400 = 365.2425”. Each year has three sixty five or six and change.
But again why did we pick February, and why the extra month of 31 days? If God were in charge you’d think he’d have just made the lunar year 360 days and everything would be poetic and perfect forever. But see like a second, you can make a degree any distance you want. If we have fractions left over it becomes exceedingly difficult to mold reality fit into our narrative. We don’t really have fractions left over however, just different units of measurement. It’s really not that difficult however. Here watch, I’ll be the Messiah:
The exact middle of the year on a non-leap year according to your Calendar is 12 noon the 182nd day, July 1 which is my birthday. I was sent by God July 1 1978 the same year the “Holy Babies” was re-discovered. The painting is attributed to Leonardo DaVinci’s workshop by a DaVinci understudy, the same as Galileo to Copernicus, or Plato to Socrates. How fitting. The picture is of baby John the Baptist and baby Jesus (John’s understudy) - one kissing the other, in a Gnostic tradition, much like Judas (twin) kissing Jesus on the cheek. This is actually the scorpion's kiss, because Scorpio begins autumn, days get shorter, so Jesus, the mushroom sun god is then in decline.
As a toddler I had a strange fascination with astrology and religion. My mother told me I memorized everyone's zodiac sign but didn't care to memorize any other details about them. I have no recollection of this. I was 33 in the year 2012 when I authored "Mesonoxia"inspired largely by my bird, "Mona Lisa" which I did not name but was given to him and later saved my life. The book is also in many ways parallels themes of "The Gospel of Thomas" of course. Thomas in Aramaic means twin, as does Didymus Judas. Jesus's brother was named James "the Just", a vegetarian. My grandfather and Step grandfather were John and James. I have an Uncle Peter on the other side. My Maternal grandfather was a Mason, but did receive last rights. I married my high school sweetheart Alicia who her family calls Lisa or Lili. (The Gnostic God Lilith is also called Lili.) We were the first couple to merge at the new Saint Mary’s of the Pines. We have no children so like Jesus I am an uncle to the world. I have a nephew Jake, sister in law Maria, Mother, Grand Mother, Gloria. I have a cousin named Thomas and two uncles named Thomas. None have any children. While my paternal uncle is still living, my maternal uncle Thomas died tragically at age 33. These are just facts. I have spent the majority of my career in “non-profit” assisting the “dis-abled” after being turned over to the authorities by a man with 2 first names (you can’t trust them for a second) for distributing “pain relief” and “ecstasy”. We’re still friends. I’ve also worked as a timeshare salesman, metaphorically because it’s all about “time” showing people that they should “share their property” and I have a model of how the world should actually work you will read about later, ironically as time share point system. I’ve also worked helping people get out of their timeshare. It’s a not about any product being good or bad. It’s about the conditions, the formula that it/you area part of.
For our purposes here, I was born 8:22 a.m. to be 33 in 2012, and turn 34 to pick up precisely where Jesus left off unifying all knowledge on 12/21/12 (which presumably already happened with this book, you just didn’t know it because you didn’t read it yet). The book isn’t actually being released until I’m 36 (like roulette) as that was Yeshua’s true age and also to symbolize the year I bought the farm to be both a shepherd and a crop farmer (Cain & Abel as discussed in other places = choreography vs. observation) I was born the exact middle of the year to exemplify what Jesus actually taught according to the Gospel of Thomas and the Synoptic Gospels. Why wasn’t I born at noon? I asked myself that question and started to think about how long I had been alive at 12 noon. I had been alive for three hours, which is 180 minutes, but wait, there is some change left over. How much change? 38 minutes, 38 times 60 seconds is 2,280 seconds, oh my God it’s 08:22 backwards on the 182nd day. God obviously planned it that way to symbolize the reverse course of the zodiac as it runs for the passing of the ages. Makes perfect sense, I’m the Messiah, simple. Or wait, maybe it means I am the Antichrist. Or perhaps this exemplifies the irrelevance of the distinction between the two. You can turn it into whatever the hell you want, which is obviously what everyone has done.
The exact middle of the year would actually be around 2:54 given the extra five hours 48 minutes, 46seconds. What we should have done is made the second last a little longer, calculated and rolled it back like we do with daylight savings, but once a season, or counted down to the moment of death roughly one minute each day like a mantra. You will read something like this later in the book in a passage titled “Last 2nd Call” where counting down to double zero will illustrate something completely different. But just think of how much fun it must be to write up a religion for all to follow and organize the way we track time and our sacred days around it. why work five days, be off two? The possibilities are endless.
As a matter of pragmatism, I say we Meson-operators should celebrate all holidays. Why should Jews get to take off all the time and not us? It makes sense to me, I love everyone. We show up to everything saying “I understand your point. I’m not mad at you. I’d like to make sure the rest of you know what it was actually intended to mean as well, or help you in conveying it to others.” So we will have off all of the Jewish holidays, all the Muslim holidays, the Christian, Hindu. I understand all of them. I wish to observe everything, and I’m not going to work, and you must pay me or it is religious discrimination. This Mesonoxia shit is getting better by the second! Marijuana is a sacred part of my religion, as are cartoon character inducing mushrooms, why not? Or maybe I will go to work because the True God is pragmatic after all. We can move the calendar any which way we like. Super Bowl is a holiday. I propose the True God cares not which days, but that we actually observe, understand, have empathy, and know ourselves inside and out.
The great thing about the Gospel of Thomasis it really does help the other Gospels make more sense. The other sayings from the synoptic Gospels are much clearer after you understand Thomas, and particularly poignant, sharp and biting should you also have an intellectual command of eastern religions like Buddhism, Taoism, or Hinduism. The religious spectrum, like the political spectrum a gradient that becomes clearest of all, when you understand all religions and their respective mystical traditions.
This isn’t to say that Thomas is better than any of the New Testament books necessarily, or better than any other mystical text, it just provides a critical context; as well as something to measure and be measured by.
The way to Thomas’s Kingdom when added to the storyline of the New Testament however, becomes a unification of all religions, much like DaVinci’s works symbolize the unification of all knowledge through ambiguity. Painting is a good medium, as it in not limited to language and not needing to be translated and interpreted.
Yes, I’m sorry if you feel Dan Brown got a little carried away or loose with his interpretation or if you didn’t like the book, but DaVinci and Jesus cannot both be defined away based on how historians frame their argument with Dan Brown. There is a DaVinci code but it has nothing to do with any bloodline, it has to do with androgyny. Our history is a crock of shit anyway. Just read Thomas. Look at DaVinci’s paintings, read the once popular “How to Think Like Leonardo DaVinci” by Michael J. Gelb, and if you know anything about Christianity or just know anything about anything, I’ll bet you can figure out what happened here.
Have you ever seen a forgery that pre-dates an authentic and helps the authentic make more sense? It appears that old cart and horse thing has been confused regarding Thomas, Gnosticism, and Orthodox Christianity. If you are a Christian, you should know that the Gospel of Thomas isn’t explicitly Gnostic. What it is, is the thing that predates what you grant isn’t mad said the cat, and the thing you think you think.
Christianity is not and can not be defined based on the distinction between two things which were both made up later. Gnosticism only became a story and system separate from Christianity after it was clear that critical parts of the original teachings of John the Baptist and Jesus (whether real or fiction) weren’t allowed inside Orthodox Christianity. Instead of arguing, they finally realized it was now so far removed from the time of Jesus, and/or the point that they had to organize Gnosticism (and by Gnosticism I mean simply: the part that was thrown out), into a competing religion basically. But as you will see, it is the same thing that is done with Democrat/Republican, Yin/Yang,Proton/Electron. We give it a name;and so it then symbolizes “something else”.
That is nonsense however. If the part you throw out now has to come up with its own new story, or something different that people could identify with or define it as, you’d imagine that part would feel like, “why don’t you get your own damn idea?” So “Gnostics” went back to doing the same thing Jesus did to the Romans - delegitimizing their authority. They came up with stories about “archons”, evil rulers pulling strings behind the curtain. Jesus is the sun, the light, bringing clarity, knowledge, gnosis. "Split wood,I am there, lift a rock, I am there." Why? Because light can now hit it.
There were many Christianities, plural. Gnostics weren’t very successful because people now all believed God was a noun, a thing. Gnostics came up with a religion that would try to break the truth to them slowly (much like you shouldn’t study Kabbalah until age forty according to that tradition). Given this theft or plagiarization of Jesus’s words by Orthodoxy, gnostics started with the idea of “Archons” in effort to have people considering that the powers that be were not on their side. It is easy to see why it has reemerged considerably post 2000. The group we today refer to as “Gnostics” simply weren’t resolved however to be the ones who have to use new words. Just because someone comes along and says that what they believe is called the same thing as what you call what you believe,and that your teacher’s name is theirs, doesn’t mean popular usage redefines the original meaning, if and when it is different from theirs.
Back to the point now though, which is beyond Christianity, Gnosticism or anything else, as I don’t care what side you think you are on, so long as you understand what the argument is about. If you got the joke, you get the joke. People often think they get a joke, but that it just wasn’t very funny. They think they understood it, and just didn’t understand why other people thought it was any good, much like atheists who think they understand religion but simply do not find it very compelling. One day much later they find out, they had never really gotten the joke. Many people think they understand religion and just don’t believe in it, or aren’t interested. For the wise, the enlightened, the ones that know themselves, there is nothing to “believe” in. When you internalize your impermanence, you identify with incessant change, your lack of inherent existence separate from your parts and fleeting relationships in the indivisible and infinitely divisible eternal present, and you become sons of the living father. You do not taste death. You are incessantly new, born again every moment, contingent upon the simultaneous arising and expiring.
Everyone knows this joke,“Why did the chicken cross the road?” Little kids learn the answer to the joke,before they know why it’s funny.” So no one laughs at the joke‘s punch line, “to get to the other side”. But it’s actually a pretty funny joke. I am not equating anyone’s religion with a joke. What I am saying is people often have their minds made up before they ever have the opportunity to understand things.
Oh, I understand. I am torturing the reader right now. An editor would not have allowed all this. An editor would make me structure my thoughts to fit in a standard reasonable way. They’d make me put in headlines for easy reference. An editor however, if not a meson operative wouldn’t know that I have thoroughly thought through the order of my words. A recipe. An acquired taste. Editors may have good intentions, but Mesonoxia is uncut. Here, let us pick up speed and go back to the future. Maybe this will help:
Let’s say you have a button. Cut it in half, what do you have? A half a button genius, let‘s go, snap snap. Cut it again and you have a quarter, keep up, then an 8th, 16th, 32nd. For anything to exist, there must always be a left and right side. Likewise, there is always a middle. It can always be split once more. Let’s say the left side of the button is the past, the right side is the future. The middle way is a constant motion. But I don’t want to confuse you just yet (too late). If Alice keeps drinking the potion down down down, at the level of subatomic particles where physicists speak of protons, neutrons, electrons and quarks, they are always looking for something smaller. They always want to know what the essential building block of all life is. They are frustrated by its impossibility to determine as it can’t be everything emerging from nothing we reason. They’ve missed the point.
Whatever can be found smaller can always itself be divided into smaller units, whether the units have separate qualities or are just a smaller volume of the one thing being divided, at some point will have to lose relevance. Where particles become waves, and waves become particles is ultimately just a swirling relationship between what we call positive and negative, yin and yang, being and nothingness. This way or that way in a sea of relativity. Left and right. It doesn’t require high powered microscopes to understand this. All one has to do is watch a puddle evaporate. Where is the exact moment that water becomes mist? Mist becomes air?
Can’t it always be divided one more time?
Can’t someone always finish a race just a millisecond quicker than before? Everything appearing from nothing, blending into each other at that mesonoxian place. At the stroke of Midnight, is it yesterday or today? Today or tomorrow? 60 minutes, 60 seconds. 12:00. 60, 120 units per measure. This concept, by itself, means nothing. It explains little. But when you internalize it with the rest of the formula and the rest of this book, you are on your way to a penetrating, saturation of insight that you will never un-realize. Once recognized, nothing short of you developing Alzheimer’s or Amnesia will ever take this from you. It is prolific, abundant, and incessant in its application. When you enter Mesonoxia, there is no where to go from there. It’s Enlightenment. It’s Omniscience. It’s Mesonoxience. Mesonoscience? Mesoniscience? Illumination, whatever the word. In the Thomas Gospel, yes the heretical, blasphemous book not found in the official cannon because with it the book actually makes sense, Jesus says,
“Recognize what is right in front of you,
and that which is hidden from you will be revealed to you.
Nothing hidden will fail to be displayed.”
When you become mesonoxient, It isn’t that you stop believing what you believed or start believing something new. It’s just that all “beliefs” e-vapor-ate into irrelevance. It is a different kind of non-duality. It isn't that you don't have preferences. It is just that you understand even though you don't like country music you recognize if you were born in Nashville you probably would. You are not that attached to your preferences, but there is no effort involved in it.
It’s like getting a joke. It’s like sudden laughter. “Oh, shit I get it. Why didn‘t I think of that?” or “I knew that already but somehow just didn’t quite put it together.” When you enter Mesonoxia, you don’t forget home. You don’t have a new home. You are both nowhere and everywhere all at once. No need to choose. Stand nowhere.The two become one. Just as the one became the two, the two became the myriad, ATGC to the myriad back into the one. Infinite divisibility into indivisibility. The Alpha, Omega,beginning, end, and middle.
“I will give you that which eyes have not seen,
ears have not heard, hands did not touch,
and minds have not conceived.”
The disciples said to Jesus;
" Tell us what the Kingdom of Heaven is like. "
“It is like a mustard seed, the smallest of all.
However, when it falls into worked ground it sends out a large stem, and it becomes shelter for the birds of heaven.”
Jesus saw infants being suckled.
He said to his disciples:
"These little ones taking milk
are like those who enter the kingdom.”
They said to him:
"Then will we enter the kingdom
if we are like little ones?"
Jesus said to them:
"When you make the two into one,
and when you make the inside like the outside
and the outside like the inside
and the above like the below –
thus, to make the male and the female into a single one,
so that the male will not be male
and the female will not be female –
and when you make an eye to replace an eye
and a hand to replace a hand
and a foot to replace a foot,
an image to replace an image,
then you will enter the Kingdom.”
Divide and conquer your own mind. Divide, until you reach indivisibility. Seek, until you find. You replace symbols with new meanings. The controlling part of your mind, and the random unfolding observer - merge.
From Thomas 2:
First you will be disturbed.
Next you will be astonished.
Then you will reign over everything.
Your books all start to make sense and oh yes, you will even have a practical use for algebra and calculus with Mesonoxia.
BIG FAT THING TO UNDERSTAND 2:
Sit with it. Marinate it in.
Think of as many examples of it as you can.
When you really “grock” it, add it to
BIG FAT THING WE NEED TO UNDERSTAND 1:
All things being a combination of infinitely divisible smaller things and all merging into a fundamental unity at varied speeds. The speed determined by the degrees of entanglement related to the smaller parts of the smaller parts.
When you have it all down, throw that all together with
BIG FAT THING TO UNDERSTAND 3:
(which since I haven’t talked about it explicitly yet, is…)
“Things” – the concoctions are appearing different
by degrees, spectrums, gradually,
one little infinitely divisible meson pixel at a time
The heart, constantly beating. The body constantly aging.
The mind constantly thinking.
What is the thing that permits all these faculties?
An indivisible chain reaction?
What the hell is the difference?
The place in between your thoughts
The space in between each breath
The spot where mist becomes air
The moment where past becomes future
The Moment of Orgasm
The Tension and Release in Music
The razors edge of Mesonoxia
Is still just warming up.
Here let’s get into Big Fat Thing 3;
Take a globe. Spin It. Throw a dart. Where did you land? Let’s say India. Do you see how people in India look a lot like people in Pakistan? And then also like people in Tibet. Often a lot like people in China. In fact, if you took a person in China and they had a baby with a person in in Pakistan,it would look a lot like someone in India. You don’t need science’s explanation of assigning words to things based on the temporary totality of their impermanent conditions. Just take Italy. Does the average Italian look very Chinese? No. But they look fairly Greek. Not completely Greek of course, just much more Greek than Chinese, much more Spanish than Scottish. On the other side, Spain into Portugal. Spain into Morocco. Morocco to Egypt.
You can watch how as you move around the globe people change, physically, politically, et cetera. Italy into France. Up to England, Scotland, Ireland. Sweden Denmark. Polish a bit like German or Ukrainian,Ukrainian into Russia. Russia is a big country. As you go east you see they are still light skinned, often blonde, but almost have Asian looking eyes. Russian into Mongolian, then down into China. China into the Philippines, throw in a touch of Spanish. Flip to the other side. Mexicans are basically native American Spanish people. I’m generalizing of course, but if you just sit and look at a globe you will watch it morph. Native American into Eskimo,Hawaiian, Pacific Islander into Asian, doing three sixties. Greece into Turkey, down towards Syria and Iraq, Iraq into Iran, back to India. Moving, fluid, incremental. One little meson change at a time. Pixilated.
You can see gradient variation in the animal kingdom. You can see it in the periodic table of elements. As the number of electrons change, different element. But what does this explain? Not much. Because what is an electron? It is just this label we give to a set of relationships ultimately. If it is doing this, we say it is negative, that positive. We know it by the effects created and can measure it. But we don't really know why anything is anything, just that it is different by different degrees of this way versus that way. We see this numerical gradient in music. Octaves and decibels. Temperature. Time. Weight. Color. There is one and then two and the two together is a third thing, but always on a sliding spectrum. A Fibonacci sequence, golden ratio, phi. There is red, there is blue, and shades of purple. There are three primary colors. Like there is Mongoloid, Negroid, and Caucasian. But we can blend them together; get Hawaiian,or Puerto Rican. Brown. Grey. Atlas. Spectrum.
What is the big deal about evolution, anyway? Take a white person, and a black person, and have them procreate, have a baby. The baby looks not too dark, not too light. Evolution. Duh. What is the debate? As you blend, things look different. How does this conflict with the spiritual path? This is the spiritual path. This is what it is all designed to have you understand. Holy, that which separates, related the whole. Gradient, spectrum, degree thinking. The reason you don’t mix your food in Judaism. it is not just some pedantic law; there are reminders through the day to remember God. Remembering God is remembering to split test the variables and operate with omniscience, walk with God, allow nature.
First we see that all things are an eclectic concoction of smaller things. You are a person. You are made up of carbon, water, et cetera. Organized a certain way, matter becomes a liver, a heart, brain, stomach, everything you have. I don’t care whether God created you or you don’t believe in any of that. It is not relevant just yet. We only understand that either way, we exist as a collection of smaller things. We age and change as the smaller composite parts change and age (or wear out their entanglements). We know from Zeno’s paradox that the exact place where they separate from each other can not really be determined. The parts themselves are also infinitely divisible. You can always cut a thing in half or it isn’t a thing. So everything is unfolding. Evaporating, expiring, changing. If you take the book or perhaps the tablet you are reading right now, and place it in an air tight compartment, free from light, water, air, anything, vacuum seal it, given enough time, I promise you it will not be there anymore. Not in the form it is in. You don’t have to touch it. Nothing hits it. It will fall apart, wither, decay. Why? Because it is a verb.
It is a collection of other verbs also. It may be a slow moving verb, but it has parts that are in motion. It is only to what degree. A frequency. How frequent the pattern is. So we, as well as all phenomena are eclectic concoctions, of infinitely divisible parts, that are moving incessantly, and blending with our surroundings while changing one little pixel at a time, making up the totality of the gradient. Each existing as a gradient, and acting as a pixel inside a larger gradient. We are eclectic concoctions merging into fundamental unity. The unity is my Father’s Kingdom. The more eclectic we are, the easier it is to become unified, and comprehend all things being a:
They are existing within a
Each part of the concoction is
Also existing within and encompassing a gradient of infinitely divisible concoctions. (like mirrors facing each other)
The concoction is incessantly breaking down as
the relationships wear out their entanglements so it is
1b.Merging into Fundamental Unity
4.All is verb (n)one is noun
Meaning there is no noun or… the one thing, the universe is the only noun. Semantics. God is the incessant force of change within it that holds it all together. Like the Tao. The Dao De Ching is the classic book of "Integrity and the Way". Or Virtue and the Way. Virtue, Integrity. Like integer, or integral. Little pixels of “what happened”. What happened is the spirit. As things break down, our clinging to how they were outside of how they are now leads to our mental anguish. When you raise the holy sparks in Kabbalah, it isn’t that you are actually doing anything. It is about what you are not doing, which is reacting emotionally or irresponsibly to your perceived ill fortune. That’s all “Be Here Now” really means. It is emotional control, awareness, acceptance, and/or forgiveness. When all the holy sparks have been raised and God has been put back together, we have paradise on earth. It doesn’t work however, unless everyone is doing it. We are still very removed from God. We lack virtue, because we don’t understand integrity, is like integers that are infinitely divisible.
Change brings pain. Without the change however, nothing exists, as all would be frozen. Unless everything is changing, nothing could ever change. We can personify the change and write stories about its wrath, and if we feel good about our predictions of what it is going to do, feel comfortable knowing it, we can write a few good stories. We can even maybe act a few out in real life. Maybe the stories will hang out for awhile. Others will fizz out. Sometimes they resurface. But if some who don’t hang out with or identify with the changing all that much, all together choose to call it the same thing you call it, and they get more popular, for whatever reason, be it A) Coercion at the Council of Nicea, B) Persecuting competition harshly out of existence. Perhaps the less sinister C) simply becoming more popular by making it easier and dumbing it down, or D) Maybe just being the beneficiary of people thinking the competing story was represented by a bunch of assholes; regardless of the reason, popular usage doesn’t change what it is.
If we define anything outside of orthodox Christianity as heretical, or Gnostic, than Kabballah is Gnostic, Buddhism is Gnostic, Sufism is Gnostic, all of that is on one side of the council, and with it is the view, that seated on the other side of the council is every crazy person of the Orthodox or literal version every religion. Whether Jew, Muslim, Hindu, or any other denomination, we are talking about anyone teaching their child that God is a noun.
No, I’m wrong. Maybe it is okay, convenient, or pragmatic to teach your child God is a noun. Maybe it is just that you were supposed to have progressed into the mystical realm within your own tradition, and gotten in touch with the thing that the off-shoots and distinctions all off-shot from. I don't like to use the word mystical though, because there is nothing mystical about it. It is either understood or it isn't. It is in every religion. We have taken the place they all wanted you to grow into and condemned it to being thought of as part of another religion, in every religion on earth.
Today, the entire world worships the legacy of Cain, even those who think they worship nothing. All playing God while claiming it can't be done. It is unfortunate that there is more of them. Or that the ones on the other side just don’tfeel like arguing about it. They don’t have the energy ignorance does. It is a shame, that Cain is such a well oiled machine today.
Literalists really know how to fuck up a good book. It does seem like because of the internet more and more people know what it all means today. When I first started putting these things on paper there was no Zeitgeist or Gnostic Media podcast, no Aeon Byte Gnostic Radio. Did you know Santa Claus was at the council of Nicea? The literal, inspiration for Santa Claus (again, Mushroom aside) Nicholas of Myra. It isn’t the Council of Nicea who is the devil however. It isn’t really the 318 orthodox fathers who made a mockery of Christianity. It isn’t the God of the Old Testament who is the devil or “the fool” as historians claim the Gnostics claim; it is the telephone game that’s really to blame.
Orthodoxy’s insistence “It’s him, not you. He’s God you’re not” is very true when you are young. Extremely true in a shallow society where we value our individual differences as if this makes us Gods. Fame and possessions as a God. No, they are correct. You are not God. Probably true for everyone on that side of the room of which there are many. Emphatically true in fact and as result, the short bus is blinged out these days.
But change is good news, because without it, we would be stuck, and nothing could do anything. We are hopeless in our resistance to the natural order of things. When we realize everything lacks an inherent form because there is never a moment at which it is frozen, therefore never ever a moment at which it can be defined absolutely, we grock our emptiness and merge with the changing, incessant flux or “God”.
Which all Equals (=)
The intellectual route to
Enlightenment, Illumination, Mesonoxia
There isn’t too much more to understand. I understand however, that many people won’t yet understand, or that even if they do they might not see how it is relevant in everyday life. Don’t worry if you are in that camp, there is a lot of book left.
The last little benchmark before Mesonoxia I call
5) “Reverent irrelevance”.
That is just my opinion though really, a personal choice. It is the last phase before the intellectually merging into fundamental unity. It is the irrelevance of all the ridiculous distinctions. Reverent irrelevance has much to do with paradox and ambiguity. But it isn’t just ambivalence like a wishy-washy lack of conviction; it is relativity’s grip on unification of all systems. It is the gradient changing of conditions, again, like DaVinci’s “MonaLisa”. It is an awareness of the inevitability of balance which acts as a type of foresight. When you know that with infinite time, things inevitably break down or merge, you can examine the parts and see where to position yourself, or facilitate it happening. This gives you a mystical like power.
We will devote a whole chapter to this “reverent irrelevance” later, and another to “synchronicity” and I will explain it a lot further. I will show you what separates what I am talking about here from Buddhism or Kabbalah, but the fundamentals are now somewhat in place. We need to grow into these fundamentals. I understand I have thrown them at you in machine gun like fashion, but it has been intentional. This has been somewhat like a Jack Kerouac-ian free form chapter, unedited straight off the top of the head. I will not edit this chapter aside from spell check. This is first nature, and what I am thinking about and constantly editing out of my conversations with the cashier at the grocery store.
In my personal life, I don’t drive to work thinking about these four or five concepts, and neither will you. For me it is all one concept that I am immersed in, viewing and trying to relay it to others in all my affairs. Like when you are merging into traffic while talking on the phone, you are engaged in geometry and advanced physics but you are performing these mathematical calculations by what we would call, “base brain”. You will learn to be just as effortless with Mesonoxia. I will give you examples later.
Just understanding this intellectually doesn’t quite do the trick, it isn’t just an intellectual thing, and yet without exhausting the intellect you will always think there is something yet to learn. You will develop crazier and crazier systems of categorization, but the fingers pointing aren’t the moon. All your systems, organizations and definitions are merely fingers draped in all kinds of jewels. We may get dressed, go to church, admire the rings on the fingers, and the bracelets on wrists, but all while the moon is out of sight. Fortunately, we have a tight grip, “fingers on” - Mesonoxia.
While the true "God" may not be a noun, and while solid forms may all be an illusion or relatively real, the Kingdom can be, but not in some pseudo-netherworld. The Kingdom is also not some strange feeling that comes over you or trances you into magnetic, charismatic, and super chill Buddha superman as many would caricaturize enlightenment. It isn’t quite intellectual nor is it explicitly a feeling. It is the merging of the two. When we do really grock it though, suddenly a reading of our holy books all start to make more sense. Charlatans are more easily thwarted in our financial lives using Zeno’s Paradox of infinite divisibility. Every part of life gets better. Not because you are incessantly happy, but just confident in your ability to mystify by demystifying.
If there isn’t much more to know though, then what is the rest of the book about? I will show you examples. We use this mathematical insight in word etymology, to unravel the origins of meaning. Using this formula you become an existential carpenter, and choreographer.
Understanding Mesonoxia you understand why DaVinci’s Mona Lisa is said to “unify all knowledge through the expression of truth and beauty“. The way he blurs the edges of the eyes and mouth, always an expression right in the middle, male and female, happy and sad. It is why Jay Gatsby is a morally ambiguous character. It is the genius quotient. People have been using it against you while sending you on wild goose chases to find it. I am trying to level the playing field. Some try to give it to us through music, or art, or just their presence. My thing is words. So we will practice. The method here is really a form of jnana yoga. The path of knowledge. The intellectual route to enlightenment. If we weren’t meeting through this book (or on line here), perhaps a different form of yoga, (of which there are many) would be more appropriate. But if the medium we are limited to here is that of linguistic transference, transmission, then we need the mind to beat the mind. I want to bring you to that middle place that you find in the gap between your thoughts, and the gap between tension and release in music, the moment of orgasm, on and on. But rather than describe it in ways and terms we are already familiar with, the train is going to take a few counter intuitive derailments.
I do not represent Gnosticism explicitly. Gnosticism as a system, meaning a developed and defined certain set of stories taught today as “this God is called this” and,“Yahweh the God of the Old Testament is an idiot and a fool”, are all merely politics of the second century.
Time isn’t frozen and arguments don’t get laid to rest because we have divided Christianity into Orthodox, with a thousand offshoots, and this other thing called Gnosticism that we defined in the third century (even if we merely defined it as heresy). That was already the dumbed and dumb it downtime. That’s the logically fallacious “I’m mad because a dog isn’t”.
Imagine you are eating peanut butter and someone comes along and says, “Awesome! apple sauce, I’ll have some.” So he is eating your peanut butter and calling it apple sauce. You leave, some other guy comes over and says, “Forget applesauce chap, have some peanut butter!” and shows him a banana. You come back after they have had the argument to determine which is better with Jelly, bananas or peanut butter which they are calling apple sauce. You find that they have both moved or passed on, but peanut butter is now banned. You try explaining to people that the conversation was about bananas and that what was really wanted was peanut butter. You watch your words fall on deaf ears as they spread apple sauce on their applesauce and jelly sandwich, telling you peanut butter doesn’t taste very good, and they tried that shit already. This is our world!
Reincarnation is just that life keeps moving and when you are identified with the larger “us” as you, rather than the fleeting “you”, as you, it is reincarnating. It is where you are identified. And also that you are “reborn” every second, “born again” - half creating new karma or planting seeds for the future you, and also - half accepting, acknowledging that the change can be fair or unfair. God, the Tao, has its own agenda, while you are a pixel in the integrity of it all. I am equal parts atheist and Christian. I just get what it all means. This will be described in some detail later,but If you do not think this is philosophically possible, I assure you it is because you don’t really understand either one.
The best source for the words of Jesus is the Gospel of Thomas. They are the sayings of Jesus removed from the astrological story line. But the plot of the New Testament should not be thrown out; it just makes much more sense when you see the words of Jesus with added context in their dazzling, radiant, illuminated brilliance. I try to show you modern stories similar to this with “6 & Change” and “Expressway Dog.”
The synoptic gospels were the attempt by Paul and the early church to unify the pagan sun worshipers with Jews and Greeks and fringe groups like Essenes or “Gnostics”, even though we wouldn’t yet call them Gnostics they were still just people following what they were told John the Baptist taught. This was also the same thing Judaism taught, in its essence, before a similar divide. In other words, Christianity was to Judaism what Gnosticism was later to Christianity, what Buddhism was to Hinduism, and what Mesonoxia would be to Gnosticism and the rest of them. A revolt of the mind, a reversion back to what it was supposed to be prior to superstition. If Mesonoxia were to get any major traction (which is doubtful), before long people would argue over whether Mesonoxia is more pro-this or pro-that to fit whoever it is being sold to, by whoever is selling it.
Pagans were over 95% of the Roman Empire, existing along with the Jews, the Greeks, and others. The different books and Gospels were originally aimed at different groups. It was an attempt to say, “Yeah your story is in here too.” Kind of like, “You guys are the only ones really in on the joke” but as it was being communicated to everyone.
History is written by the winners of course. The reason Jesus is betrayed by his twin, (which is what Judas Thomas means) and has to die has a few meanings, like Scorpio mentioned earlier, Gemini, the twins is sometimes referenced. One of the meanings alludes to the spiritual path, because we use one part of the brain to eliminate the other, so that the observant side and the controlling side eventually merge. Spontaneous Choreography. Death, is like the death of your ego. “On the cross” ties in the pagan/astrological ideas, (as well as folding up into a cube) but that is not all. The story also points out that Orthodox religion (government, priest class and Kings) doesn’t recognize God and kills him. But the Ace is both the 1 & the 13. The lowest and the highest. The meek and the King of Kings.
The cross has been used for a million things actually. Popular usage again however, doesn‘t define an idea that predates it to which there were off-shoots. Today the off-shoots are arguing over the differences between how they define their respective acts of separation from the original idea, or which elements of the original idea they wish to preserve and/or dramatize.
Jesus being Jewish brings in the “prophecy” of the Old Testament. Jesus of Thomas spoke in parables much like Zen koans. It was ambivalent so that the true meaning could be hidden and he could avoid persecution, but for those who had the keys, it could be understood with every word. Jesus of Thomas was basically a Pythagorean Buddhist hybrid preaching mathematical non-duality. Jesus of the New Testament becomes the ultimate multi-tasker. But the point doesn’t simply rest on paradox, ambivalence and merging. It can, but the true genius of Christianity in the first century was again, supposed to be unification, and this is why there is so much confusion about its origin. You can explain it one way and be right, such as Jesus is a solar deity. You can explain it another way and be equally right, he’s the amanita muscaria. Or you can throw the whole thing in the trash for all I care, just make sure you understand Zeno’s Paradox and why all nouns are actually verbs and I will show you how to apply this to your actual life events in the rest of this book.
The point here is not to interpret another’s viewpoint for the explicit purpose of doing so. This is to explain the unwavering truth of Mesonoxia. Truth is one pointed. Just as there are many types of illnesses but we don’t have many types of health for each one - health isn’t really a thing at all, it is what is left over when disease is not present. God, and illumination are much like that.
This is not “new-age”. “There is nothing new under the sun.” I almost let the preceding sentence slip out as a cliché, but I should site its source - Ecclesiastes. The Old and New Testaments are not bad books. It’s all in there, but we need the antidote to what we could view as a great fraud and deception perpetrated on mankind. I don't believe it is quite as sinister as Dan Brown would have us believe however. And it isn’t all about women or the divine effeminate either. It is about androgyny, unifying opposites, as away of understanding interconnectedness. What we have today is simply a lack of context, and the telephonegame.
Hold tight, the Midnight Train is kicking into gear. Before we end here however, I’ll give you an irrelevant distinction and the unification of all knowledge right here, right now. Then we will expand on this in different ways throughout the rest of our time on the Midnight Train and later propose some practical if not outlandish (by society’s current pathological definition of itself) worldly solutions based on what has been written in this chapter. The truth is,when you understand this, what is written below, and how these four things are all identical, truly you understand everything:
· WernerHeisenberg’s uncertainty principle,
· The 2seal of Buddhism (emptiness), &…
· The forbidden fruit from Genesis.
Are all the same concept. I don’t mean they are similar. Not merely reconcilable. EXACTLY THE SAME CONCEPT. And this concept is what the unifying Jesus, (whether mythical or historical, irrelevant) actually preached.
Heisenberg’s uncertainty principle is just now starting to be understood by the layman in that it has nothing to do with observation. In Tin House magazine, R. Irgens Larsen reporting on Kirkensfreda fire in a piece called “It Will Happen Again” says,
“The layman often confuses the term, thinking it only affects the act of observation: that the momentum and location of a particle cannot simultaneously be observed - that the very act of observing affects the system and creates a veil of uncertainty around the observation. In fact the uncertainty principle is fundamentally about the system itself. A particle can never have both a precise location and momentum, irrespective of observation. How typically egocentric that we recast the theory around us.”
In a book called “Spiritual Snake Oil: Fads & Fallacies in Pop Culture” by Chris Edwards or S.C. Hitchcock (pen name), the same point is made
“Heisenberg’s discovery is not very exciting. It simply says that one can measure the position of a particle or its momentum, but not both at the same time. I wish to hell he would have just named it something like ‘positiony momentumy’ principle; if he’d done so, maybe a whole generation of airheads would have left it alone. Anyway, our expectations do not alter the universe in the slightest.”
They do affect our personal universe in the way of confidence, conviction and faith perhaps, but when you really digest what the Heisenberg principle does mean, it is basically saying the same thing as Zeno. It may be better described in Zeno’s Tortoise and Hair paradox, but the assertion is the same; a thing cannot be incessantly changing and precisely defined. This is the same thing the Buddha says about emptiness. All things lack inherent existence. Why? Because they are defined in relation to their parts. If the parts are consistently, incessantly changing and moving, there was never a time a thing can be said to exist separately from the current impermanent structure. It doesn’t exist inherently and apart from its conditions, causes, and parts. It is simply a combination. Impermanence is every second. Interconnectedness is Impermanence. Creation and destruction is every moment. Like Rabbi David Cooper says, “God is a Verb”. Which by the way, is the story of the Garden of Eden. You may find it a stretch, but I can’t figure out why.
The Knowledge of Good and Evil is really the knowledge of what is inherently good and evil. Attachments and aversions. Playing God. Same thing. Cain, the crop farmer. Water, seed, soil, sunlight, okay we got this. We know how to do it. But do we? Really? You sure? If our world is any indication, we look to be fucking it up to me.
It looks as if we are missing something. You can’t pinpoint the exact moment of midnight, so the fruit is forbidden. You might need to sit with it for a minute. Don’t rush off to the next chapter. Let itmarinate. Read it again. The conductor is going to drive it home but help him out, pay attention. Focus. Attention Distribution Defiance. Bring it in. The razors edge of the moment is incessantly moving. Meditation is just the awareness of the lack of inherent existence outside of the current crop of nowness. This is where you will find the Kingdom. But it’s more than just “being here now”. It is being here now within the correct observation and understanding. It is the two and the one. They are the observer of the random unfolding, as well as the actor attempting to steer the ship. Accepting what I can not change, changing what I can, and penetrating my focus on the wisdom to know the difference. The actor delighting in the form, controlling what he can. Manifesting destiny vs. guiding the sail or honoring the dharma. Later we will talk more about how this is the Cain & Abel story. In the beginning it is controlling versus accepting. Watching versus doing. Later, they merge.
For most people, their inner Cain is nothing more than a mechanical response mechanism. As we begin to awaken, Cain doesn’t go away however. The true path puts Cain under the control of Abel, and eventually a merging of the two. The way to Mesonoxia is as small as the eye of a needle, a mustard seed,a pearl. Life is coming at you and your attention is a circular saw that needs to be positioned and aligned on a single point, a single moving line cutting past and future, controller and observer, Cain and Abel, male and female, particle and wave, positive and negative, yin and yang. Quark and anti quark: a meson. A Mesomorph. Right in the middle of the spectrum. The Middle Way. The Mona Lisa. Slick Rick. Prince. A joke you missed. Relativity. It is definitively indefinable, but not to stop there; instead it is used as a compass or gauge so that we can define everything else more precisely. The Midnight Train of Thought. Mesonoxia.
Those who have ears to hear let him hear.
We’re about to start rippin’ and runnin’.
If they ask you,
“What is the sign within you of your Father?”
Reply to them, “It is movement. It is rest.”
But store up treasures in heaven
where neither moth nor decay destroy…
So first we absorb all of this intellectually and we can’t help but to think of it as mental gymnastics. How any of this helps in our daily lives lived as western rational materialists - we may wonder.
Keep your seat belt fastened friends;we are kicking the train into the next gear. This has been a little heavy but we are beginning to develop some speed. We’ll slow it down a little. Or more accurately, much like when you are driving a car, the R.P.M.’s hit their highest point right before it shifts gears, then it drops down into a base for the next gear. We will again slowly pickup speed and revolutions until we shift again. A few more gears to go before the end of the book will make sense to you or until you can relax into your high - gear. A few more shifts before you will see the relevance of the reverent irrelevance. This is why I warned against teleportation in the Coat Room. It is the ride you were supposed to experience, getting there was supposed to be half the fun.
33 years in the life of Christ. 33 years in the solar year. Thirty three gaps in your vertebrae. 33 degrees of the Mason. 3:11 the ratio that is repeated several times relating to the sun moon earth relationship. We know all these 33's are no coincidence, but who exactly is borrowing from who? Who gives a shit?
The G in Freemasonry stands for Geometry, Grand Architect, God, Gnosis, Gnostikos (knowledge), which are all the same thing. But you have to know why. I think you can see why.
Light can be both a particle or a wave. Jesus says in Thomas, "I am the light above everything. I am everything. Everything came forth from me and everything reached me. Split wood, I am there, lift a rock, you will find me there." Light. Which can be both particle and wave. I find it an extraordinary coincidence the Gospel of Thomas, lost for centuries was found in 1945, the same year we split the atom, and dropped the atomic bomb. It's poetic on many levels. It is like just as science was moving away from exploring outward and instead moving inward to the atomic level, with Einstein suggesting light can be both particle and wave, as the world was at war, this book resurfaces filled with all this non-duality language. Bizarre.
Today we need the meson in a hurry and in abundance. I can’t cook it all myself. I need people to help me move this out on the street. Like my pal J.C. (Jeff Colandra) did to me sitting on the hood of Nick Masi’s mother’s old Crown Victoria in fourth grade. Or this hippie drifter dude in a Ft. Lauderdale hotel, who was sitting next to the hot tub, talking to my sister and I about colors back when I was nine years old on vacation. Meson-operatives can be found anywhere and are needed everywhere. Otherwise we would have to just bombard folks with all of it. For most, it needs to seep in or we don’t shift smoothly. One sits intrigued by what they are hearing but isn’t able to digest what the hell it all really means or how to apply it. It’s like starting out at ten miles per hour and then abruptly throwing it into a high gear as we have done here - a violent jolt often shakes the vehicle, as perhaps it did that day I gazed into the door. Still, we don’t take the fourth or fifth gear out of the car because of it. This is what our institutions have done, and we now find ourselves sitting at a red light on a San Francisco hill, burning out our clutch.
I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt and chalk it up to the telephone game. Motives are irrelevant at this point. This is a direct injection of a higher mezogram dose. To someone with a low tolerance for truth it just might make them vomit, but we don’t ban the transmission of all high doses because some need it diluted.
If you are confused or your head feels like it may burst like a wineskin, you might understand why they used to say not to study kaballah until forty, just to use an example.
You have to be ripe to shift gears, mature, seasoned. If you don't discover it on your own it is like a big let down. For the same reason they didn't want to tell kids there was no Santa Claus until they were old enough to kind of piece it together on their own, where they kind of already had a hunch. Its really about the same deal with God. This all just started out as they wanted to scare people into morality when we were savages. A noble lie. But it gets corrupted. People abused it, occulted it, contorted it.
The Socratic Method and the Scientific Method however are both at their essence a form of split testing variables. A way of going inward. Taking any situation and dividing the parts to separate the individual effects as well as the synergistic effects. When you divide infinitely you eventually arrive at truth, or accuracy. You've shined the light on it. It is illuminated. Enlightened. Wisdom. Sophia. Philosophia. Its all the same. Non-dual. The top of pyramid. It can be used for good or bad. For sophistry and manipulation, or liberation and freedom.
But we can't very well bombard everyone as evidenced here in this chapter. I need your help.
Hopefully by the end of our journey,
You will have found the hook-up
Down this path we have started,
And can ad-minister the elixir once I have departed.
Because you see,
Mesonoxia is like a bag of seeds
That scoundrels came in the evening and polluted
With dirt beans as a means of leaving your yield diluted.
Be these parasites the authorities, or just a man's competition,
They are in essence - planned obsolescence
Whence meson strains come to fruition.
But there was message veiled from the sinister
That was to be kept just between us,
A master ad-minister
Had embedded in a public haranguing;
"Don't discard the whole got-darn bag genius.
It ain't the hardest,
to spot at HARVEST
shoddy mid grade from the BANGIN'."
But knocks-offs be-wary;
Neither telephone games nor direct-miss information
can stop a wildfire when it blazes the nation.
Switching gears erratically, even uphill ain't much
when a touch of the mid-night-moon-shines in your "clutch".
But heed the old caveat from a man OF HIS TIME:
About mixing new wineskins with vintage moonshine.
like "new patches on old garments" , or
"cast no pearls before swine".
means store the “kine" free from light
Where the bandits can't find.
To the sea cast ambiguous, if not invisible "lines".
When for hearts and minds
Of men you've gone fishin'
Skipping gears quick fucks up your "trans"…
From THE NAASENE SERMON
"The spirit...is there where...the Father is named, and the Son is born from this Father. This...is the many named thousand eyed Incomprehensible One, of whom every nature - each differently is desirous. This...is the Word of God. Which is a word of revelation of great power. Wherefore it will be sealed, and hid, and concealed, lying in the habitation where lies the basis for the root of the Universe: aeons, powers, intelligences, gods, angels, delegated spirits, entities, non entities, generables, ingeneranbles, incomprehensibles, years, months, days, hours, [and the] indivisible point from which what is least begins to grow gradually.
That which is...nothing and which consists of nothing, inasmuch as it is indivisible - a point - will become through its own reflective power an incomprehensible magnitude. This...is the kingdom of heaven, the grain of a mustard seed, the point which is indivisible within the body. And...nobody knows this point save the spiritual only"